Clarity, Part 1

Wait, What Did I Say?

Hull, Duncan "Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your sh*t & knowing you're sh*t" (7/16/2012) via Flickr
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After reading four sections in the Rules for Writers handbook, I have discovered new ways to improve my writing, and re-discovered some basic rules that I should follow while writing. For each section, I will illustrate the main points I have taken away from this reading.

Eliminate Distracting Shifts

•  Maintain consistent verb tenses
•   One mistake that I often make is the use of verbs with different tenses in the same sentence. Keeping this section in mind will allow me to check myself as I write to avoid any mishaps.
• Make the point of view consistent in person and number
• When it comes to choosing and maintaining a point of view in my papers and projects, I have a handicap. I somehow decide that I can use 2nd or even first person in a research paper at random, and don't notice it until it's in the comments of my grade. 

Emphasize Key Ideas

• Do not subordinate major ideas
• Major ideas tend to get buried in my sentences; I seem to get lost in addressing multiple ideas in a sentence instead of focusing on just one.

• Coordinate equal ideas; subordinate minor ideas
• I have never fully understood how to coordinate or subordinate ideas in general. Now that I have read this section I feel much more capable of doing so. 

Provide Some Variety

• Try inverting sentences occasionally
• My sentence structures are usually fairly uniform and don't offer readers much variety. Inverting sentences seems like a simple way to provide audiences with a mix of sentence structures.
• Vary your sentence openings
• Sentence openings are not my strongest suit. I will usually repeat sentence beginnings without even realizing it until later, or never noticing at all. This is a major comment that I receive on  anything I write. Hopefully, keeping this in mind will allow me to avoid this.

Tighten Wordy Sentences

• Cut empty or inflated phrases
• I tend to use quite a few of the inflated phrases described in the book, and I didn't even know what inflated phrases were until now! I used to see them as helpful leads, but now I will reduce their appearance in my sentences.
• Simplify the structure
• I learned that most of the verbs I use often are 'colorless' and can lead to excess words. I will strive to strengthen verbs in my sentences and use less expletives (as they can also generate wordy sentences).
• Reduce clauses to phrases, phrases to single words
• Since my sentences tend to become complex webs of thought, reducing and simplifying individual pieces systematically will definitely help me make ideas more concise and clear. 

Reflection: After reading and reviewing Lauren's and Sam's drafts, I learned that I am not the only one who struggles with sentence clarity, and found a few great examples of a concise, clear sentence:
In Sam's draft I found: 

"Uber's can provide a safe ride home after a night of drinking, prevent a DUI or even worse from happening."

This is a good example of an unclear, wordy sentence that includes a distracting shift (aka the type of sentence I usually leave at least two of in any assignment). Using the concepts I learned from my Clarity exercise, I created a more concise and consistent version of this sentence:

Ubers can provide a safe ride home after a night of drinking, prevent a DUI,  and may protect its riders from dangerous situations.

In Lauren's draft I found:

"The organization believes that there are too many benefits that are worth reaping and the system should just be revamped in order to fit today's standards."

This is a great example of a well-written sentence that conveys a specific idea with ease. While the sentence is taken out of context here, it adds perfectly to her commentary. This is the type of sentence I aspire to write, and often turn into a wordy, confusing mess.