Revised Introduction

Awkward Introductions...

Post Memes "It was a very awkward introduction." (8/7/2014) via Flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic Creative Commons License

I have deconstructed my old introduction and begun anew! I like my new introduction because it's shorter and concise, whereas my original was slightly rambling and may have been confusing. I have decided that an interesting question would be a better hook to draw in readers than compelling facts - even if the facts were about Harry Potter - as a thoughtful question will engage my readers just as much and be far more relevant to my analysis than a somewhat random mention of the banning of a famous book series. I also altered my introduction to fit the body paragraphs I have written, and I feel that it does a much better job of forecasting. I also decided to keep my thesis statement relatively the same, because my peer reviewers seemed to like it the way it was, and I didn't see a way to improve upon it much. To show you the difference, I've included the old and the new introductions below:

Old Introduction

The banning of books including the Harry Potter series and the Chronicles of Narnia by Christian groups baffled many young readers and librarians across the country. Why does religious censorship still exist in our advanced and open society? In her essay "Those kinds of books: religion and spirituality in young adult literature," Margaret Auguste appeals to fellow school librarians as well as parents, administrators, and the library community at large to shatter the taboo on the presentation of 'religious' books to children. The author achieves this message by using personal stories of encountering this issue to build their credibility with the audience while convincing them of the presence of 'religious' censorship, emotionally compelling narratives of a certain spiritual book that is a prime example of 'religious' literature being suppressed in schools and homes, and a multitude of convincing statistics that illustrate the positive link between interaction with spiritual texts and growth in youth.This author uses a well-organized arsenal of rhetorical tools to enlighten her audience's perspective on the issue of denying children access to spiritual texts, and inspire within them a motivation to dismantle the system which denies children access to 'religious' materials. By observing Auguste’s use of rhetorical strategies, we can further our own knowledge of rhetorical analysis and strategies.

New Introduction

Why does religious censorship continue to thrive? In her essay "Those kinds of books: religion and spirituality in young adult literature," Margaret Auguste appeals to her audience - fellow school librarians as well as parents, administrators, and the library community at large - by using personal stories of encountering this issue to build their credibility with the audience while convincing them of the presence of 'religious' censorship, emotionally compelling narratives of a certain spiritual book that is a prime example of 'religious' literature being suppressed in schools and homes, and a multitude of convincing statistics that illustrate the positive link between interaction with spiritual texts and growth in youth to answer this question. The author's adaptive use of rhetorical strategies account for her credibility in the context of her essay, her audience's reactions, and the enormity of the issue she is challenging; these strategies serve to strengthen her argument overall. By observing Auguste's use of rhetoric, we may become more skilled in rhetorical analysis and in developing our own arguments.